22^nd January 2024 was the second anniversary since my father-in-law left for his heavenly abode. It provoked me to write something about him and the relationship we shared.

More than 20 years ago when I first met him as his future son-in-law, I was not sure what I was getting into. My early impression of him was that of a lazy person who was happy to have agreed to the marriage mainly because he had to make no enquiries about the boy in question (something all fathers are most concerned about) since the proposal came from known sources. It was also of someone who seemed to be paranoid about safety and security. Once I was returning from their home in Jadavpur to the Howrah station and he had come to drop me to the taxi stand. Imagine my embarrassment when he tells the taxi driver to drive slowly and safely since I was going alone and, in his wisdom, I was a small boy. The small boy who was about to marry his daughter.

Post our marriage he started visiting us (most often to help us manage certain life situations like change in city/house/kids etc). I started learning so many facets of his personality through these visits. While he was lazy at this ripe age, he had been an accomplished cricket player, an avid rower amongst other sports in his hey days. He also used to roam the streets of Kolkata in his motor bike, something very rare during his time.  Also, he went through the pain of losing his elder son at a very young age (the most cruel blow for any parent in my view) which forced him to be overprotective about his daughter.  I started having friendly arguments when I started pushing my wife to move around independently as he was always worried about her safety. The whole idea was  the big setback pushed him to being over protective in shielding his daughter from unknown evils , a natural reaction I would believe if I was to put  myself in his shoes.

But within these small idiosyncrasies I started seeing the other qualities of the person. He was someone who was well read. He had a huge collection of books but what struck me was the variety and the uniqueness of the same. His collection of cassettes also was fascinating (he had a tape recorder). His love for music was not only restricted to old Hindi songs (he was a big Rafi fan) but also percolated to old Western music. He could talk about a variety of topics clearly depicting his all-round knowledge.

As his visits became more frequent, I started building a bond with him. A bond of love and friendship. Something that has stayed with me even after 2 years of his death. Most of his visits came out of our need of helping us settle down to our new married life. But what struck me was his selfless love for someone whose only credentials was being his daughter’s husband. My late night return from office and fights with my then pregnant wife always found him on my side defending me ( I was on the wrong side clearly). His eye for detail and concern for my wellbeing was huge. Every time I was down with cold, he would be enquiring continuously and giving me his famous homeopathic medicines for cure. Every party never ended without him giving me his favourite digestive capsule named Festal – N. When I was on a tour, he would not sleep till I reached my hotel irrespective of the time of the night. While at times it looked ridiculous, but the genuine love and care clearly overshadowed the paranoia.

As we started having kids, his love and care reached a different level. To start with he was not ready to hold the new  born lest he hurt any of them. When my son started going to school in Delhi he was in his 70s. Since both me and my wife were in corporate roles he had to pick him up from the bus stand(which incidentally was a quite far from our  home). My 3 year old son would doze off in the bus every day and he would  carry the sleeping child in his arms right  from the bus  stand to our home on the  2^nd floor at Kalkaji. Further, since there was a small gap in the railings of the stairs, he covered the same with a rope lest my son falls through the gap. People called it paranoia, I now see the intense love and care. Similar incidents kept repeating when my daughter was small as well.

As he turned older, he was diagnosed with an irreversible eye ailment which slowly led him to lose his vision. It is at this point of his life that he moved in permanently with us where he spent the last few years of his life and I  got an even closer glimpse of him. Close your eyes for a minute and try to walk  around and  you  will  understand  how  intensely painful it is. By the time he moved in he had already lost his eyesight. But never did I see an inch of frustration in him. He was as caring as he always was. His movement was restricted but not his spirits.  A great lesson of being resilient in the face of severe adversity. If there is one regret I have in life, it is about not being  able to get his vision back. 

Even with no eyesight he was the most organized person in the house. He would be keeping medicines, specs of the kids, spare batteries etc in his small  red and  black bag. Moment any of us needed any item he would take it out in one  go. I still don’t know how he could fish out the right homeopathic medicine every time since all bottles felt the same. He would know exactly when my daughter’s basketball class would end and would pester us to trace her till, she reached home. It was as if he had an invisible third eye. Every time my daughter entered his room, he would touch her and try to figure out if she had gained in height. I could never sense the pain in his voice, the pain  of not being able to see his grand kid which I was sure was plaguing him inside.

Then came Covid and we were all bunched up together at home. His inquisitiveness was very infectious. Every day he would seek from me statistics about the rising numbers across the world. He would co-relate the same with the population of the country and draw his own insights. It was my daily routine with him after a hard day’s work at office (I always believe online was more intense than offline) . His lack of vision did not diminish his hunger for knowledge.

His love for me was one of the purest I have seen. Once physical office re-started, I always made it a point to meet him in his room once I was back. He would always tell me to lie down beside him and rest and often run his fingers through my hair. If I would share any life related frustrations his advice always was soothing and comforting. He was always very content with his life and his wants were also limited. The same message he would always pass on to me, don’t stress or fret over materialistic wants, it takes away your inner peace. In life what is important is good health and happiness. He had friends who were very wealthy, but he never would have a tinge of jealousy about the same.  He was never demanding (which he should have been) that we should spend more time with him considering his physical condition. He would always tell me that he understood we are busy with our lives, and he was in-fact grateful for whatever time I spent with him.

The day he had his second stroke I was in the room. We rushed him to the hospital. While waiting in the emergency to get admitted late in the night my wife asked him if he was afraid to die. He replied with a smile that he was not since he has lived his life on his terms, and he had no regrets. Even there he was talking about how late it was in the night and how we should be going home, and he would manage alone. Imagine the selflessness of a person who had no vision in the emergency room of a big hospital. He even spoke of how the English teacher of my daughter needed to be changed since she was not getting good grades in that subject. A man who has had a stroke. Phew.

He did not recover from the same after fighting for his life for 7 days. The last day when the doctor told me that there was no hope and we should just let him go, I stood in the ICU alone with him to bid farewell. It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. To say goodbye to a father-in-law who cared for me and loved me more than a real son and gave me so much of joy and positivity. I had to say goodbye to someone who taught me so many life lessons just by the way he lived his life. I knew that he had lived his life, and I understood the pain of living without eyesight. He had to go but I wanted to cling on to him. To talk to him for the last time and bid him goodbye in person. To listen to his calm voice comforting me even now. My entire 18 year of loving association came flooding back to me. It was my selfish desire to have him around me that made this farewell one of the most difficult situations of my life. It was like time had come to a halt and I was not able to reconcile myself to this new reality. The reality of not walking into his room post a hard day’s work. As I reluctantly walked out of the ICU, I realized it was a Saturday. Even in death he had ensured that I was not inconvenienced. I did not need to take the day’s off from work.

A touching movie, a poignant movie, a simple movie, a refreshing movie, a relatable movie. Multiple adjectives could be used to describe the movie “Three of us” in Netflix. However, to summarize this depicts a beautiful journey of relationships with some very strong moments.

Shefali Chaya as the woman losing her memory due to Dementia is amazing. Her facial expressions clearly portray the turmoil of fighting the disease. She quit her job due to her health condition. Her longing to touch base with her past one last time before her memory completely fails her takes her back to her childhood habitat. It appears that she wanted to reconcile and conclude some unfinished agenda. She manages to finally make peace with the unfortunate accident involving her sister which triggered her movement out of the town during her childhood. An accident that she witnessed and was part of. The scene where she walks away from the well is suggestive of that. But the most interesting aspect is her meeting Jaideep and concluding her unfinished agenda of leaving him suddenly without notice, years back. The sole purpose of her visit appears to be able to meet and explain her point of view for her sudden disappearance to her childhood friend. While at that age it is mostly infatuation that engulfs kids, their intimacy seems much stronger than usual which pulls her towards the small town like a magnet. 

The relationship with her husband is very relatable. He is very supportive to have taken a break to bring her down to this small town/village on short notice and accompany her through the picturesque town. A sudden burst of anger driven by a flash of jealousy at seeing his wife being happy at meeting her childhood crush is understandable. That does not stop him from looking out for her immediately after that when she walks out of the hotel post their argument. He finally reconciles to her past and the scene when he is seen massaging her hair with oil while on a call with their son is very cute. A doting husband, a caring husband and finally an understanding husband is what he is projected as. 

But the highlight in my view is the relationship between Shefali and Jaideep. A childhood crush evaporated with the sudden disappearance of Shefali due to family compulsions many years back. A very good student compromises on academics due to family compulsions and stays back in the small town as a bank manager. The scene where he talks of his IIT dreams and how it was shattered due to the sudden disappearance of his father is very touching. The strong bond between the two despites so many years of complete separation is almost platonic. While both have moved on in their lives with doting spouses and loving children, the chemistry between them gets rekindled when they meet. The highlight of the movie is the scene on the giant wheel. Shefali apologizing teary eyed for her sudden disappearance without any intimation years back.  Further when she says that she may not remember him in future due to her disease and Jaideep retorting by saying that he will help her remember exposes the deep bond they share despite the years of separation. It is as if the universe has taken a pause to help both share this intimate moment.

Jaideep’s wife in a brief appearance comes out as a very understanding and pleasant individual. Seeing Jaideep resuming his love for poetry post meeting Shefali she teasingly reminds her husband that he has done nothing like this for her. But she is happy to see the change in him and there is no iota of jealousy or hatred towards Shefali even during their brief one-on-one interactions. A supportive, progressive lady selflessly in love with her family and husband. Overall, a beautiful tale of human relationships and helplessness when confronted with diseases with irreversible conditions. The performances are power packed and the cinematography and narratives.

My son, all of 18 years, finally went to college, “Uni” as they call it these days. As I went to drop him, I had all my emotions muddled up. He went to the university of his choice; Ashoka University and it was really heartening to see the positive energy on the campus. He was more excited than sad, more confident than apprehensive. So, there is no cause for concern at this stage. But some thoughts are lurking in my mind and wanted to share the same. Not sure if it is the same for every parent.

1. It was the last day that he was home as a full-time “in-house” family member. Next time he would be a guest who would come visiting. The frequency and duration for us would be longer compared to people who have sent their kids far off. But the bird has flown the nest. Someone said that 80% of the total time you spend in your lifetime with your kids happens in the first 18 years.  

• For people like us who still have one kid at home, the pain is less. I am sure for parents where the nest is completely empty the realization is stronger.

• He is on his own and free to make any decision within the boundaries of university rules (which by the way is quite liberal). Hence the values that we have been able/not able to inculcate over the years would come to the fore in deciding how he conducts himself. It would be the culmination of our efforts as parents over the last 18 years.

• Earlier you could walk up and talk to him whenever you wanted. Now you would have to understand they he may possibly be busy with friends, classes, or professors and may not be available when you are free. You must respect that and give him that space.

• The brother-sister bond which most of the time ended up in arguments at home would now have to manage with occasional physical meets and more of what’s up chats. I don’t know about my son who stayed back with a huge bunch of friends but my daughter who had to come back to a house with an empty room, the pain was visible. Her every waking hour till now was spent knowing there is someone in the adjoining room to whom she can confide at every opportunity. That void is permanent, and she must adjust to the same. I am sure the fact that she now need not share the coke or chocolate with him is not giving her any joy. She would trade the extra packet of chips for her brother’s full-time presence any day.

• The grandmother staying with us is really shattered. Loneliness has become an integral of her life. But having her grandson close was a big solace, especially since he was a good youngster who used to come and spend time with her. He reminded her of all the memories with him during his growing years where she had a big contribution. While others in the family can pick up something new or increase the intensity in existing relationships, for her the options are limited. The void created is big and would never get filled. Her regular tears and constant query as to when he would come home next clearly depicts the pain.

• For the grandmother in Kolkata, the frequent phone calls to find out about every event unfolding here clearly depicts her apprehensions. Grandkids are always more precious than children and independence at this age makes her worry about his well-being. While she has a good social circle there but the fact that she would not see him full-time at home on her next visit to Gurgaon is leading to bouts of sadness, I am sure.

• The mother is putting up a brave face. She is happy that her son has joined a great institution without going out of the country to do that. She is happy that her son is likely to find her footing socially with some apprehension about how he would compete academically. But she is the one who has spent the most time with him in the last 18 years. She stayed awake, initially to take care of her son when he fell sick and later waiting anxiously for him to come back from a late-night social event. There have been multiple debates at home about how much freedom is good at this age and how the father was always playing the good cop to score brownie points with his son. Now, while she can sleep on time knowing that there is no one to wait up for, I am sure her mind would still be at the college thinking about how her son would be adjusting to the new realities in his life and whether he would be requiring any support which she would have loved to have provided but cannot.

Every phone call or video call would be picked up with enthusiasm trying to understand in that short interaction about the overall well-being of her kid. The weekends he would be home would be all about cooking his favorite dishes and spending as much time as he would allocate, listening to his college tales (to the extent he would share), and trying to eke out some things that he would be reluctant to. But the intent completely is to ensure that the son is happy and safe in his current environment and to be part of his evolution.

• Lastly, coming to the father. Now that is a tough one. The empty room in the house is unnerving. The feeling has not yet sunk in somehow since the proximity of the campus gives a mirage that he is a stone’s throw away. There is always this regret though, should have spent more time during his youth instead of those many hours at work. Time is the only thing that is irreversible and now have to wait for an allocation from his busy schedule and many seekers, all of them genuine. Makes me resolve to make the best of the 4 years I have till my daughter reaches the same situation.

While the rational side says that his life is finally where it belongs, in his own hands, and there is nothing much we can contribute, there is a tinge of apprehension. What if he needs help, what if he needs a trusting shoulder to cry on, a trusted ear to hear him out and share his fears. The rational side again says that he would have to figure all this out himself since that is part of his learning process. But the heart still wants to play a small part in it. Will it happen? Time can only say.

We had not been on a family vacation for nearly 2 years. When my class 9 son completed his final exams we decided that this was the right time. When you are hungry for travel you end up trying to do too much. The plan was visiting friends and family in Kolkata and then head over to Andamans for a relaxing time by the sea. But we had not anticipated one variable – the ever increasing threat of the Covid 19. As 13^th of March loomed we were totally confused as to whether to cancel or go ahead as things were changing very rapidly. Finally we boarded our Indigo flight with the tag of brave heart (given by my team) with some bit of apprehension in our minds.

It is another matter that Andamans got shut down before we could reach there and we preponed our return from Kolkata to the 19^th. In hindsight it looked to be an avoidable choice. But I would want to share my experiences from these 7 days as to what I learned both from a business side and personal side. Let’s start with business.

Our two and fro trip from Kolkata to Port Blair was through both Indigo and Vistara.  Vistara not only refunded our full fare but the manner in which they did it was equally commendable. The telly caller took 30 seconds to process full refund. With Indigo it was a harrowing experience. I will leave the details but suffice to say that it took us around 5 calls each lasting for an average duration of 45 minutes. The same was not good for my vocal chords or blood pressure and we used all possible ways of threat including social media. Here was the behavior of the market leader which was totally contrary to expectations with little empathy for its customers. While the other company had the Tata brand to protect. In times of crisis the value systems of companies make it stand out in the crowd. I booked my return ticket from Kolkata through Vistara (despite the fact that they were more expensive). They had a customer for life.

On the personal front I spent these 7 days meeting friends and family. I would like to share some experiences from these meetings.

We travelled to Shantineketan, a quiet, culturally rich town around 4 hours from Kolkata by road. While I was passing through the lush green rice fields and seeing farmers harvesting potatoes, one thing struck me. Is Covid an Urbanization problem? Here in these serene villages where the villagers lead a relatively simple, uncomplicated and peaceful lives, would they not be largely insulated from this pandemic. In-fact they would be getting the farmers would keep the food supply chain going. As we gallop our way through the race that we have created for ourselves and named it life , is there a need to learn something from the simple farmer who sleeps in peace after his hard day’s work while the World is coming to a lockdown situation.

I met most of my relatives, some after many years. The warmth in that welcome made me miss my hometown (I am born and brought up here but have been out due to my professional commitments for the last 20 years) like never before. I realized that in the pursuit of our own professional pursuits and travel with our nuclear families, our connect with the larger social fabric has dwindled. There are people who have had a hand in my development as an individual, who had spent selfless hours during my childhood grooming me and shaping my future. The sheer joy in their faces to see me after so many years and spending quality time with them was refreshing. I could see loneliness in some of their eyes and I had this feeling of selfishness creeping into me. For all that they have done for me how am I reciprocating (not that they expect reciprocation)? Are the wants of Senior citizens severely neglected in today’s world? How many of us move away from our near and dear ones in the pursuit of what we call a career? I have no solution for this being part of the same boat. But the question remains as to how we can make their balance life in this world joyful. Is that not the logical cycle of Karma which we need to complete? Are the scales of success in today’s world tilted horribly towards money and fame?

While coming back through the same airports on the 19^th, it seemed that the world has turned a full 360 degrees. The airport looked like a war zone with more security people than passengers. The scared eyes visible behind the masks was unmistakable. It struck me that nothing is constant in life. Things that we take for granted can change very quickly. Enjoy and live in the present. Past is history and future a mystery.  With this feeling I entered back into my condominium on the evening of 19th

As we dig in our heels to brace through one of the toughest phases of human civilization, I had a few reflections. Is the loosening bond of society one of the reasons for this outbreak moving in rapid proportion? Has the empathy factor dwindled? Can this battle be fought as individuals? This battle will be won (and I have no doubt that we will come out of this sooner rather than later) through a collective effort from the entire society. In-fact the battle will be won only when the whole world coming together. It will give us a lesson in solidarity for our fellow citizens. By staying in isolation, the bonds of humanity will only become stronger. When we emerge out of this crisis, we should become better parents, better children, better relatives, better friends but above all better human beings which the World desperately needs.

Jai Hind.

I am visiting Rishikesh with my family and friends. Post dinner the kids are tired and cranky, desperate to have their hands on a gadget and finally retire to their rooms. Why can’t they have a conversation amongst themselves, we mutter under our breath. We stop to hear a singer chumming live music outside the restaurant under the open skies.

There are a handful of guests hanging out (as there is a nip in the air). I look up and see the moon playing hide and seek under the clouds. Below there are mountains with the odd light staring out of the darkness. I am sitting with my wife besides me enjoying the ambience and the music. I request for some of my favorite numbers and he smilingly indulges. There is a glow in his face, clearly enjoying what he is doing. My earnings in material terms could be multiple times more than him but I suddenly felt a lot poorer on some key aspects.

 It strikes me, when was the last time I was in such an ambience. The moon is the same which I could see from my balcony in Gurgaon. The Aravallis in Gurgaon maybe little less pretty than these mountains but visible from the same balcony. Music from my google mini could be a good competition to the live singer. Why am I having this beautiful feeling for the first time in my life?

Three of my key realizations I would want to share through this post

1. Have we stopped enjoying these small moments of life in the mad race for satisfying more of our material wants? Race for what, I ask myself, since the race has to be for spending our life on this beautiful planet with the maximum share of joy and happiness. In this quest for financial security for ourselves and our loved ones are we losing the essence of life? Moments like these, which are an absolute bliss, is not created as it does not find time in our busy calendars.
2. How many of us work in areas that gives us the maximum satisfaction? The major proportion of our time is spent in our workplace. In-fact more than the time spent with our near and dear ones. Are we doing things that we love to do like this musician singing in front of a few people but with a glow that says that he is loving what he is doing? Is satisfaction equal to your paycheck? Is it time to take risks, dismantle boundaries and move forward in the direction the heart tells you?
3. Lastly our children. While we may argue that this is the new generation and should not mirror our behavior, is there a fundamental issue. Have they stopped having conversations with others? Was it better when in our childhood we had only a few TV serials to choose from with no exposure to the outside world through internet? Every situation has its pros and cons and I agree they are getting a bigger global exposure which was never an option during our childhood. But are they losing out on some key aspects of growing up?

While the above may sound like open questions, here is my take on these aspects.

 I firmly believe that life is all about making choices and balancing your priorities. We need to ensure that we lead our children by example. They imitate what they see in their formative years and we are their biggest role models.  So is there a pattern? The fact that we have stopped living life the way we had lived when we were young could be rubbing on our children in their formative years. Have they been hooked on to the screens because we thrust the gadgets at them in their childhood when he/she was not eating or was cranky? By not spending qualitative time with them are we pushing them to search for other means of engagement?

By not doing things where our heart is, we are preparing ourselves to regret our choices on our death beds. While financial security is very important, should there not be a matrix of job satisfaction that comes in? It is not always necessary that we need to leave everything and pursue our passion. Can we continue to do the same while keeping our professional engagements intact? Which essentially means not letting our mind space be over crowded with professional engagements. Which means spending that extra half an hour with our near and dear ones. Which means not being distracted when your kid talks about his/her small accomplishment in school. Which means taking your spouse to the next music concert even if it means taking an early break from office. Which means joining that art class which you always wanted or pursue the social work which gives you inner satisfaction. Which essentially means being clear about your priorities and choices.

This could be things to ponder for all of us as we gallop through this beautiful journey called life. Unfortunately, however much we may desire, there is no second innings in this cricket match.

After a long time saw a movie that kept me riveted to my seat throughout. Lets take a peek into the movie.

It is very easy to believe that the movie is about a slap which Tapassee’s husband , in the heat of the moment , lands on her cheek in full public view. There could be a section saying that she over reacted to let such an issue stretch to a divorce despite the fact she discovered that she was pregnant and herself acknowledged that her husband would be a very good father. Here is my take on the movie.

The movie points out a very important thing. This feeling of so called male superiority is not only entrenched in the lower strata of society but across. When Tapasee’s domestic help who is beaten up by her husband tells her the day after the incident that she does not hate her husband so much is a telling reflection of the fact. Her high profile lawyer and her celebrity reporter husband shares no worse a relation that the help and her husband. Only they hide it from the outside world better

Everyone in the movie had a development need in this aspect. Let us take Tapasee’s parents.

– Her father is very liberal and supportive of her daughter and many would call him a model father and husband. But when Ratna Pathak, his wife, tells him that she also made sacrifices for the family as a woman and her husband did not try and correct it, the façade breaks. Him bringing her the harmonium at the end shows his repentance.

– Ratna Pathak as a mother should shoulder the maximum blame. When the incident occurred she was more concerned about saving the marriage, unlike her father. Her initial reactions only strengthened the hand of her son-in-law. Good thing is, she also turns a new leaf when she reprimands her son when he does something similar with his fiancée.

– Tapasee’s brother who initially was supportive of her high profile Jiju, to the extent nearly repeating his act with his fiancée for taking his sister to the lawyer, finally realizes his mistake when he breaks down in front of her and says he has to reboot. His fiancée also steps down from her strong views and decides to reboot together showing she also has learned to be more tolerant to a person who genuinely understands his mistake.

– Coming to the perpetrator, Tapasee’s husband. The issue was never about the slap like many would like to believe. It was his reaction post that which opens up the hollowness in their relationship. To him the act was trivial and even after the incident he was more concerned about the unfairness meted out to him by his office. He did not even properly apologize. Even if he had it would not have mattered as he did not mean it. He himself sums it up at the end and redeems himself somewhat when he says he would love to earn her back from scratch having quit his high profile role in UK.

– The boy’s mother and father also realizes their folly after their initial support to their son. His mother acknowledging in public at the end that Tapasee was correct in her reaction was a high point in the movie.

The only person who is perfect is Tapasee. I do not think she puts a single foot wrong in her actions. She is not vindictive and presses domestic violation charges only when pushed to a corner by her husband’s baseless allegations. Even then she seeks joint custody and not sole custody and does not want an alimony. She is firm but not dis respectful. She is assertive without being aggressive. It his through her strong will and actions she manages to change everyone’s mindset (including her maid).

I would end by saying that it is a very positive movie where one woman’s strong will and action manages to change many mindsets. It also shows that it is fine to walk out of a marriage if you do not feel loved. To me the biggest convert was the silent father-in-law (who looked feudal initially). The last scene showing him checking his wife’s blood sugar was a pleasant surprise.

Tapasee entrenches her credibility in the industry with yet another power packed performance. She is ably supported by each and every member of the caste.

I am sure when we look around we would find enough examples within our own family and friends on this aspect. The question is, are we strong enough to challenge the same and be the harbinger of change which the society desperately needs. ient definition

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

• Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
• Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

• Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
• What topics do you think you’ll write about?
• Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
• If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.